


Carmilla Had A Little Lamb

by churchofyourcurves



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Crack, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 17:50:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2782097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/churchofyourcurves/pseuds/churchofyourcurves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura tries to save the day but it backfires somewhat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carmilla Had A Little Lamb

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little bit crack!fic but just had the idea and ran with it so...

Ringing. There’s a loud, constant hum of ringing in Carmilla’s ears.

Danny rushes to her, hands grabbing her arms, and the redhead’s mouth is moving but Carmilla can only hear ringing. Danny starts to shake her and Carmilla blinks.

Everything comes into focus. Danny has a streak of blood across her cheek, though Carmilla isn’t sure if that’s hers or someone else’s. Carmilla’s knuckles are bloody and there is a gash down her leg, ruining her favourite pair of leather pants. In front of her is the wreck that used to be the Summer Society’s training field. Where overly enthusiastic girls used to run track and throw spears there are now a minefield of pits and fallen teenagers ( _Toddlers_ , Carmilla thinks). As far as she can tell they’re all alive, but the stench of blood is thick in the air.

“…is Laura? Carmilla!”

“What?” Her attention snaps to Danny, whose eyes are wilder than she’s ever seen them.

“Where is Laura?” Danny repeats, her voice becoming more panicked.

“Laura…” Carmilla still feels dazed, like trying to move while underwater. She supposes that, even with vampire constitution, throwing yourself at an exploding gestating egg from the underworld will have this effect.

_“No you can’t!” Laura is chasing Carmilla as she walks towards the Summer Society track, jaw set firmly._

_“I’ll be fine cupcake. Vampire hero, remember?”_

_“This will kill you!”_

_They reach the edge of the field, a few hundred metres from a towering,_ shuddering _egg that is coated in some sort of gelatinous goo and glowing. Not to mention the smell. Rotten eggs do not even begin to describe it. The Zetas and Summer Society are gathered on the edge, all of them looking at the egg with equal parts terror and disgust. Danny and Kirsch are standing at the front, Danny holding her favourite spear and ignoring Kirsch who is trying to fistbump her._

_Carmilla stops suddenly and Laura looks at her with pleading eyes. “This whole gauntlet of Khnum thing is the only way to stop the end of the world so that’s what I’m going to do. Again.” Carmilla rolls her eyes and mutters, “Life was easier when I was amoral.”_

_“Yeah, well…” Instead of a come back Laura grabs the gauntlet from Carmilla’s grasp and sprints towards the egg, putting on the gauntlet as she runs. Carmilla isn’t proud of it, but Laura has caught her off guard and that moment of surprise means that Laura is ahead of her enough to reach the egg and touch it with the gauntlet with Carmilla right behind her. And then…_

There’s a small bleat behind Carmilla and they both turn to see a small lamb with perfectly white fleece standing there wearing – well, as much as a lamb can wear – Laura’s clothes.

“Oh God. Is Laura a lamb?” Danny voices what they’re both thinking and Carmilla sighs heavily.

“I hate this place so much.”

\---

LaFontaine looks at the small white lamb that Carmilla has put onto their lab table and then looks back up at Carmilla.

“Why is there a lamb on my sterile work area?”

“The lamb,” Carmilla lets out a frustrated sniff, “Is Laura.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“Apparently Khnum is the Egyptian Ram god and using the gauntlet on the huge egg thing made…” Carmilla gestures at the lamb, which bleats and head butts Carmilla’s arm gently.

“I thought you were using the gauntlet.” LaFontaine frowns as they examine the lamb on the bench, poking her with a pen and making her bleat again.

“I was. Then _someone_ decided to go and be all heroic and now she’s a lamb.”

The lamb looks between the two girls before bending down to sniff something on the bench and then leaping into the air, sending various vials and lab equipment flying. LaFontaine sends them on their way, glaring as they protectively clutch armfuls of beakers, measuring cylinders and pipettes to their chest.

“I’ll visit you in your dorm room,” they say icily before shutting the lab door in Carmilla’s face.

Carmilla sets the lamb up with a bowl of grass that she ripped out of the lawn before getting into her bed and pulling the Sumerian text back onto her lap. She must have missed something in the translation, there had to be a way to undo this, surely.

There’s a knock at the door and Carmilla is actually flattered that someone has learned how to knock, before the door opens to reveal Kirsch.

“Hey, I heard that the nerd hottie got turned into a-” Kirsch’s gaze drops to the lamb that’s lying on the floor and he lets out a sound that is far too high for his large frame. He drops to a sitting position and starts to scratch the lamb behind her ear, cooing at her and being delighted when she leans into his touch.

“Brilliant, now there’s a pair of idiots on my floor.”

Carmilla ignores both of them and returns to the text, those two will have to amuse themselves while she concentrates. Halfway through a page about – shocker – virgin sacrifices, she realizes that it is far too quiet save for a soft rustling. She turns around to find Kirsch feeding the lamb cookies from the half-eaten packet that had previously been on top of the fridge. Carmilla snatches the cookies out of his grasp and both the Zeta and the lamb look up at her guiltily.

“Seriously? Lambs eat grass, not double choc chip cookies.”

“She really wanted them,” Kirsch says with an apologetic shrug, hangdog expression firmly set on his face. Carmilla does not even try to broach the topic of how Kirsch knows what a lamb wants. “And who am I to deny a nerd-hottie-turned-lamb-cutie what she wants?”

Carmilla stares at Kirsch, unable to tell if he’s being serious or if he’s making some sort of frat joke that she can’t understand because it’s too Neanderthal. And, of course, he’s being serious.

“Okay, out. Go. Leave. Now.”

“Okay, okay, bye lamb cutie!” Kirsch calls out over his shoulder.

Carmilla leans against the closed dorm room door and sighs, sliding down it until she’s sitting on the floor. “I seriously hate this place.”

The lamb hops over to Carmilla and jumps into her lap, legs splayed every which way and head butting her in the stomach.

"You’re not any better,” Carmilla mutters as she puts her hands on the lamb’s back and massages through the dense wool.

\---

So apparently to reverse the lamb condition they need the amulet of Khnum and Carmilla mutters darkly about how many damn pieces of jewelry he needed. She drops the lamb off at Perry’s room – LaFontaine wouldn’t let her anywhere near them after the lab and Danny, well no – with a box of grass and strict instructions to not let her eat cookies. When Perry replies with an insulted huff that she would never let a lamb eat cookies, Carmilla knows she’s made the right decision.

The amulet of Khnum is at the Natural History Museum in London and Carmilla… Well, she acquires it. Safe to say, she won’t be going back there for another century or so.

When she returns to Silas the lamb practically climbs her, nudging her firmly with her head and bleating loudly. Perry, looking a little worse for wear, is just as relieved and practically shoves the lamb at Carmilla before closing the door.

Carmilla waits until they're back in their room to slip the amulet onto the lamb, because while a nude Laura in the middle of the dorm hallway would be entertaining, she would probably never forgive her. There’s a bright flash and then – Laura is on her lap. And yeah, naked Laura.

Laura looks at Carmilla, blinks, and opens her mouth before closing it again. She clears her throat once, twice and then-

“Cookies.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes. “Seriously?”

Laura smiles, slowly at first like she’s getting used to moving her face again, but it quickly brightens to its usual blinding form. “Please?”


End file.
